Day +15: Trying Some Things

 

Woah, man! Kal only woke up once during the night last night! I even (almost) didn't have a sleep-deprived migraine when I woke up this morning! Oh my, it was lovely.

Kal is doing better with keeping his oxygen levels up. He only needs a little whiff of oxygen when he's sleeping. He's much more awake during the day now. Also, his swelling is going a little bit down, which I imagine makes Kal feel much better.

The doctors are now wanting us to work on trying some things in order to prepare Kal to go home in the near future. Like I mentioned before, Kal needs to:

1. Take all of his meds orally (instead of IV like he has been doing)
2. Gets his water retention under control
3. Wean off his oxygen and pain meds
4. Have no signs of infection/fevers/graft-vs-host disease
5. Try the bottle, but no big deal if he doesn't want it, even for a few months

As part of that plan, Kal's PCA morphine pump dose was decreased today. Uhm, yeah, about that. I think it was too ambitious to try that today, as both the nurse and I have had to push his button to increase his dose several times today. Yesterday, when he was still on the higher dose, I might have pressed his button maybe once, if not at all? I'm going to discuss with the doctors tomorrow about holding back another day on starting to wean him from the morhpine, and see if they can bump the dose back up to help him be more comfortable and heal a little more.

Also, we tried giving Kal only a couple of his medicines orally today. Yeah, he wasn't too happy about that. It seemed like it still hurt too much to swallow, so he would just hold the medicine in his mouth until he either choked on it and spit it out, or coughed it down somehow. He threw up twice in the process, despite taking over an hour trying to give them to him suuuuper slowly. He's been a lot more pukey overall today. Yesterday, when he was on the higher dose of morphine, he had only thrown up twice, and it only had a small amount of blood streaks in it. Today, with all of the throwing up going on, it most likely opened up those scabby sores again, because it was much more blood tinged. Poor thing... I also think if his pain is better managed, he may take his oral medications a little better if it didn't hurt so much to swallow.

In between throwing up, Kal is generally pretty happy. He has moments where I can see my old Kal Kal boy's personality shine through. Kal had a particularly fun time being naked during and after his sponge bath today... and who doesn't like a cute, naked baby, right?! (Sorry in advance for the Kal overload. He was fascinated with my phone today, especially when I would turn the camera around in "selfie" mode so he could see himself. This kid really is SO vain. Hehe!)

All clean after my sponge bath!

Giving a little smile here... I missed those!

Oooh, I see myself there...

Surprised at his own reflection.

Well, hey there, good lookin'!

Those adorable eyes, though! I can't even...

Day +14: Turning a Corner

Last night was not too bad at all. Dare I say it- it was pretty good, actually! He only woke up once during the night when the nurse was changing his diaper, and then fell right back asleep after that. I think the little bump up in his PCA morphine dose made all the difference! It helped his pain stay more at bay so he could be more content.

Kal was much more awake this morning, as he has usually been really sleepy during the mornings in recent days. He threw up a lot when he woke up, but then he wanted to play with some toys for a little while and even stated babbling a tiny bit to one of his favorite nurses (who claims Kal is her boyfriend). Haha. She's so sweet! Apparently he was saving his words for his lady. Sheesh, this guy. It was so great to see him start to show characteristics of his old self again, even if it is for a few minutes at a time.

Mesmerized by his little ball.

The doctors were really happy and impressed with Kal today. He's doing really well, and will continue to monitor him for any changes. They wanted to still give his mouth sores a break today, but will attempt to start trying to give his medications orally (vs having it through the IV like he's been having it). Taking all of his meds orally is one of the requirements to get the "ok" to be discharged and go home. It will kind of be a long process, though, as we don't want to overwhelm him all of the sudden with a billion meds in his sensitive mouth, throat, and stomach.

He still needed a low amount of oxygen throughout the day. Whenever we would try to take him off of it, he would slightly dip down in his oxygen again, just enough to set off the alarm. They will try to wean him off the oxygen as well, eventually. His breathing is doing better most of the time now, though, as far as sounding not as congested as he did yesterday.

Also, Kal is still a little swollen, but his water retention has definitely gone down since yesterday. Hooray! (Except, after all this, I hope he doesn't loose his adorable chubby cheeks he's gained in this process. I just love them!)

During the day and this evening, he seems to be feeling a lot better and more awake. He threw up once again this evening, but hey, that's makes it that he has only thrown up twice today! That's a miracle in itself! Woot woot! His mucous secretions seem to be lessening and his mouth is bleeding a lot less, too!

Kal had so much energy for bed that it was hard for him to calm down to fall asleep. He was so happy just trying to eat his giraffe toy. Once I layed him down, he enjoyed kicking his legs, and even smiling at his other nurse that he loves! I haven't seen him smile in so long. Really, it seems like forever since I have seen him happy and smiling. It's a miracle that he's feeling so well now. Just like the nurses keep telling me, babies and kids are so resilient. One day they're doing awful, and the next day they perk up and turn a corner to be on the road to recovery. I'm so glad it looks like Kal's starting to turn that corner now!

Nom nom nom- yummy giraffe! It was so funny, he was just sitting there motionless with part of the giraffe's head in his mouth and holding it close to him. "You're my best buddy, giraffe!" 

Day +13: Miracles Happen

"Count Your Blessings"

 

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

(Chorus)
Count your blessings;
Name them one by one.
Count your blessings;
See what God hath done.
Count your blessings;
Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings;
See what God hath done.
 

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev'ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.
 

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.
 

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

Text: Johnson Oatman, Jr., 1856-1922
Music: Edwin O. Excell, 1851-1921

This song above, "Count Your Blessings," has been running through my mind all day, and there are many good reasons why! Although today still had it's difficult aspects, I am in awe of God's mercy and love towards me, Kal, and my family. You'll definitely know why by the end of reading this post, and hopefully be merrily humming along the tune of this song too. (;

Well, my goodness, today has been a whirlwind! Phew! I guess I'll start from the beginning...

Last night was pretty rocky. I am beyond exhausted. (Oh, and by the way, since I left you guys on a cliffhanger from my Facebook post, I felt compelled to update you all tonight and not wait until the morning, despite my exhaustion. I'm currently eating yummy, yet zingy salt and vinegar chips so I can stay awake to finish this post. Mhmm, you're welcome.)

After Kal's congestion, low oxygen levels, and pulling out dead tissue with the suction incidence around midnight, his mouth was actively bleeding through that whole ordeal. We were concerned about his platelet levels. The nurse then ordered a platelet transfusion and did that around 2 a.m. without a hitch.

Around 3:45 a.m. or so, though, Kal's oxygen levels kept dropping and rising back up again. The alarm kept going off like crazy. The nurse and I decided it might help if she tried to suction a little bit of mucous out to help him. She went in his mouth and inner cheeks this time, and after a little while, ended up pulling out about a 2-inch long piece of tissue. Sick-nasty, for real.

After that, I swaddled him and then cuddled with him in the rocking chair for a little while. Kal kept having issues with his breathing still, though. He would either be breathing rapidly or kind of be breathing in twice and then breathing out once. It concerned me, so the nurse decided to put on an oxygen tube that goes to his nose to make sure he was getting more direct oxygen. Even after that, though, his breathing kept being odd and his oxygen levels kept dipping down (once getting down to about 79%). The nurse also began to be concerned, so she asked the charge nurse to check Kal out. Then, the charge nurse was a little concerned, so he called someone from the Respiratory Team to come over and evaluate him. I was told they may decide to have that team suction the out down the throat if it was bad enough. Uh-oh. Although I had been very concerned about his breathing earlier, I know what it means to call up the on-call respiratory specialist at that hour of the morning. After the nurse informed me the respiratory specialist was on his way and then left the room, I couldn't help but get down on my knees and pray a quick prayer, my plea to God: "Please help my son breathe. Please bless him that he will be all right. Thy will be done, though. He is yours, and I leave him in your hands. Please give me peace at this time."
 

His new accessory!

Soon after, the respiratory specialist came in to examine him. As soon as he came in the door, Kal started to breathe much better, and his oxygen levels were back at an acceptable range. He still sounded kind of gurgly, but he was breathing well enough that the respiratory therapist said he was breathing great. It is so amazing that in that short amount of time, Kal's breathing issues had subsided significantly. That was truly a miracle to me!

A little while later, his breathing would occasionally act up again. It set off the alarm again. I stood up, and stayed next to his crib to try and get him breathing better. I was so shaken up from earlier that I was on edge about his breathing. I wanted to stand by his crib and watch him breathe all night, with my hand resting on his chest, just to be sure everything would be okay. I mean, what if he had some issue breathing or was choking on mucous while I slept? I just didn't want me to miss something and not be able to help him because I was asleep. Eventually, my exhaustion won and took over, so I headed back to bed, immediately falling asleep.

In the morning, the nurse tried giving him a break from the oxygen, but Kal's oxygen levels kept dipping down again. At first, they tried using the oxygen funnel again, but it wasn't doing the trick. They had to put the oxygen tube to his nose again to help keep everything at a good llevel. Seriously guys, though, he is so adorable with it. With his swollen, scrunched up face, him balding, and that little tube, he looked like a little old man! Oh the cuteness!

Using the oxygen funnel to raise his oxygen levels.

Wearing his little nose oxygen tube, thing. How cute, right?!

During the day, the nurse and I also discovered and discussed some other odd things going on. Because Kal had such a rough night and was needing extra doses of morphine, she decided to up the dose on it to help keep the pain at bay. Also, his mouth sores are still pretty gnarly and I can see exactly where they were bleeding last night. In addition, I noticed some pus coming from Kal's ear this afternoon. That means that his eardrum must have ruptured. Luckily, he's been on antibiotics for a good while, so whatever pus there is in his ear is sterile already. They will still be monitoring it for signs of infection, though. Also, Kal is still having issues with not peeing enough fluid off with his diuretic. They switched it over to a different kind, but it is still not having as good of an effect as we'd like. Furthermore, Kal's blood pressure was pretty high today. They will keep monitoring it to ensure it is not being caused by his medicine.

So, now that you've gone through and read all the crazy stuff that's been going on today, how about some good news?! Well, we found out today that KAL HAS ENGRAFTED! Woot woot! Before, they had told us that his neutrophil count needed to be 500 consistently for 2 days to be sure he has engrafted. But, since Kal's neutrophil count jumped from 200 yesterday to being 600 today, they said he will just continue to increase in his counts, and they are counting it that he has officially engrafted today! Ahhh! I'm so excited and happy right now!

So, about what's next: before Kal is allowed to go home (typically a process of about a week or so), he needs to accomplish some things. He needs to eventually wean off of his pain medicine. He needs to take all of his medicines by mouth, instead of IV like he's been taking them lately, His mouth sores need to be healing/healed. He needs to have no sign of fever and be free from any graft-vs-host symptoms. They would like it if he starts eating something again, but is not necessary, as he will most likely be sent home on TPN and lipids anyway to keep his calorie count up. Also, his swelling needs to subside. Those are some of the basic requirements. If these are not met in a timely manner, the longer he will have to stay in the hospital before he is discharged.

Tonight's sunset was a perfect outlook on Kal's near future. Amidst the rain and lightning of the storm, the sun popped out of the clouds long enough to allow me to watch it set. There may be complications that may be going on and need to heal now, but there is a bright future that just popped over the horizon!

As you read earlier about the complications still going on with Kal, just because he has engrafted doesn't mean that he's instantly feeling better. He should start to turn a corner towards feeling better in the next couple of days, though! There is still a long road ahead, especially the next 9 months to a year or so, because his immune system will still be building itself up during that time.

So, I just need to point this out, though. As I mentioned before, with Kal getting stem cells from umbilical cord blood, we were told the average time to engraft would be between days 20-30 post-transplant. Kal, on the other hand, has officially engrafted on Day 13. That's a whole WEEK before the earliest average day for similar patients to engraft. Not a single person placed a guess on Kal's Engraftment Calendar that Kal would engraft this early. No one expected this to happen so fast. That is simply incdredible!!!

According to the doctors: Yes, he is a baby, so it was possible for him to engraft earlier because of his smaller body requiring less time to build up his cells again. Yes, his donor's cord blood was a perfect, 10/10 match for him and it had a high number of stem cells in that unit. Yes, he received placental stem cells, which could have potentially sped up his engraftment process. These were all of the doctor's explanations as to why Kal has engrafted so early- he had everything going right for him to set him up for early engraftment. As for me, I see it as many miracles adding up to this wonderful miracle of early engraftment. There's no doubt in my mind that miracles happen, and I am certain that I witnessed two of them today!

Day +12: Counts Are Looking Up!

Kal's night wasn't too bad. He only woke up twice again to throw up/cough up bloody mucous. It's been helping him sleep better now that we have been rolling up a blanket and putting it behind his back to bring him on his side a little, letting some of the mucous dribble out or stay away from the center of his airway. 

So, more good news today: Kal's counts are continuing to increase! His white blood cell count is at 500, and his ANC (neutraphils, the number that's most important for knowing engraftment) was at 200 today. Woot woot! Remember, they need to be consistently at 500 or above for 2 days to be considered engrafted. We're on our way! This has been to the pleasant surprise of many nurses and doctors that his ANC count have started on it's way up already, especially for someone who received cord blood stem cells. Perhaps the placental stem cells from the study he's in have helped/are helping? Who cares! We're taking it... and I'm calling it a small miracle. Let's hope he stays on this path of his counts continuously raising. This will also help his mouth sores and mucous issues begin to resolve. Keep the prayers comin'! God is hearing those prayers and answering them in his own time and all-knowing will.

Today, Kal is still facing issues with water retention. They continued with the diuretic, which helped a little, for a short period of time. When that wasn't working the best as possible, they switched him to a different diuretic tonight. Let's hope this one works better and gives Kal some relief. He's still my adorable, little Asain marshmallow anyway. I love 'eeemm!

Not lookin' or feeling too hot this morning.

That swollen wrist crease though...!

 Kal has a little bit of a new heat rash popping up on the back of his armpits. They'll keep an eye out for any changes in it. In addition, he got a good mid-day nap in.  After his sponge bath, he perked up and decided to play with some of his toys again. It was so cute! This was a small miracle in itself. Kal hadn't felt up for playing with his toys really once his serious pain rolled in. It made me so happy to see him playing, even if it was short-lived. This was a tender mercy that helped me imagine the sweet spirit that is still underneath that swollen face.

Look, Mama! It's a cool toy!

Why, hello there, toy!

Well aren't you interesting??

Hey toy, I mean business, okay?

Soon after that, one of my best friends from college visited with her girls while they were in town. It was so good to see her and talk with her. She is so spiritual and a great example to me in so many ways. We had a conversation that was really awesome, discussing various topics, that strengthened me. It made me realize even more how everyone has their own, great battle or trial they are facing, have faced, or will face. Also, it was a good reminder how God really does have a plan for us, and there is a divine reason for everything we go through. I believed this before going through this with Kal, but I have a more deep-rooted faith in it now. Looking back reminds me how Heavenly Father has aligned so many things in order so we could face this challenge. I know I still have much to learn from this trial, but I know it has strengthened me and many more aspects of me life. This visit with me sweet friend sincerely brought back new energy and life into me.

After my friend left, Kal was a little bit more congested. The nurse made several attempts to suction mucous out, but soon after he would sound congested again in his nose and throat. It sounded like he was trying to close his mouth to sleep but the air isn't getting through his nose very easy, like he was snoring loudly. After that, he threw up some blood and mucous, which is a common, multiple-times-a-day thing, except it doesn't usually have that high of ration of blood in it as it did that time. Because his platelets were on the lower end, we were concerned that his mouth was actively bleeding. Therefore, the nurse ordered some platelets to give him later, during the night. 

After he fell asleep, yet while I was still rocking him, Kal's oxygen level kept dipping down pretty low and setting off the alarm. I would adjust him to see if he could clear his throat a little and breathe better, but his oxygen kept popping down over and over. The nurse decided it would probably help him breathe and sleep better if she tried to suction him out again. When she tried to suck out his nose- we couldn't hear anything. There was something in his nasal passage that was so thick that is was clogging up the tube! Attempt after attempt to break it up through his nose failed: with both the skinnier and the wider suction tube going down his nose and then she tried down his throat. Yuck. I had to look away because it makes my skin shiver just thinking about it. Ouch, for real!

Finally, they nurse got a good hold on what was causing the issue: it was about a 1 inch-long piece of tissue that had sloughed off and was sitting in his nasal passage. Eeeeew. At least we found what was bothering him! ... or so we thought. After that, he fell right back to sleep, but his oxygen level remained pretty low. The nurse and I decided it would probably be beneficial to turn on the oxygen to blow on his face during the night, to keep his oxygen level up. That has seemed to help significantly. As I type, though, I'm hearing his snoring noises again. I hope he can sleep well tonight and be able clear the junk out of his throat soon!

Day +11: A Glimmer of Early Hope

 
Kal did well during the night last night, only waking me up twice to throw up some mucous. After the first time he woke me up to throw up,  the nurse suctioned his mouth out a little bit to help him sleep better.

Taking a little nap this morning

Kal platelets were down again this morning, requiring him to have another transfusion of platelets. On the plus side, his white blood cell counts went up, and his neutraphil (immune cell) count went from 0 to 100. Remember, he needs his neutraphil count to be consistently 500 or above to be officially "engrafted"? Well, it's a surprise that he has any neutraphil counts so far, really. I was expecting a few more days until they would start building themselves up again. BUT, on the other end of that stick is the reminder that neutraphil counts can go up and down a lot, day to day. So, tomorrow, they could be back down to 0 again. Or, they could go higher. He's on a certain medicine that attracts and draws out the neutraphils to promote their growth, so this number today could be falsely high. But, we'll still take these neutraphil numbers for what they're worth! It's the hope that he might engraft earlier than expected! Woot woot! Keep the prayers comin', people! (Pretty please?!)

Still my little, puffy marshmallow.

Church here was great today. My favorite part was a musical number where a woman sang the song, "Anchor of my Soul," by Jenny Jordan Frogley. I LOVED the lyrics to this song, and got choked up listening to them. Here's the lyrics so you can enjoy them, too. I definitely recommend searching out the song and listening to it, though! (;

All alone I leave the harbor
So many oceans to explore.
On my own I face the darkness
As I leave behind the safety of the shore.

When I'm tossed upon the waters.
When winds of change begin to blow.
His words of truth I will follow.
The Savior's hope is the anchor of my soul.

Sailing on to deeper waters
The journey starts to take its toll.
And I am lost amid the battles
That test my faith and stretch my soul.

When I'm tossed upon the waters.
When winds of change begin to blow.
His words of truth I will follow.
The Savior's hope is the anchor of my soul.

Voices of the night
Trying to tear me from the fight.
But somewhere deep inside my heart I know
That when I'm tossed upon the waters.
When winds of change begin to blow.
His words of truth I will follow.
The Savior's hope is the anchor of my soul.

All alone I leave the harbor. 

 

The rest of the day was pretty chill. Just the normal medicines and throwing up mucous sometimes. Jonald was there most of the day, which was nice to have him there. With his help, I gave Kal a sponge bath, as he is required to have every day, and he reaaaalllly enjoyed when I wiped his face with the sponge. I think the coolness of the sponge and the water drying off his face helped his itchy, puffy face have some relief. He was even falling asleep as I was wiping his face. It was so pitiful, hilarious, and adorable at the same time. 

Ahhhh, Mama, that's the spot!

Oh, that feels so good! I think... I'll just.. take a... nap... zzzzzzzz!

Later, I was able to take a short walk outside, which felt refreshing to get some sun, fresh air, and a nice view of the city. It have me the recharge I needed to take on another day tomorrow. (:

When I stepped out to enjoy the beautiful day and view outside!

Day +10: Enjoying His Thinning Hair Before It's Gone

Last night was actually pretty good. He woke up about 2 a.m. choking on mucous and upset, but then after that, if he would choke or get his mouth suctioned out, he would go back to sleep right away without needing to be rocked back to sleep. The next time he actually woke up was around 7:20. When I checked the time, I was shocked! Oh, it was a glorious feeling to sleep pretty well for about 5 hours straight again.

Kal's counts for both hemoblobin and platelets were low, so he had to have both blood and platelet transfusions today. His platelets from yesterday didn't really take, so that's why his levels for platelets were back down low again today.

Finally was awake for a little bit...

He is still very swollen from retaining water. They have upped his dose of diuretics again to try and help with that.


Kal is continuing to choke, gag on, and throw up mucous that is either blood streaked, blood tinged, or bile most of the day. Last night he started to have white pieces of tissue to cough out as well. It's the dead cells in the lining of his mouth, throat, etc. trying to slough off. It all smells and looks pretty gnarly, for real.

He was so tired, he fell asleep without being swaddled.

Jonald, Kayelee, and my mom came over to visit tonight. Kal was enjoying watching everyone, and therefore perked up once they came in the room.

Also, Kal's hair is continuing to fall out. It's definitely looking like it's shorter and thinned out now. The longer layer is mostly gone now, so it looks more and more like he has a buzz cut. I don't know how many days it will be before it's all gone, so in the mean time I just play with it and enjoy his soft, fuzzy hair while I can.

Day +9: Smelling fishy and Shedding Like a Cat

Last night was somewhat more restful. He seemed like he was sleeping more peacefully, which was a big help. He didn't even need any oxygen last night. But then there were those moments where I would wake up to the sounds of him gagging and choking on mucous. I would have to jump up really fast and turn him on his side so he could get some of the junk out. The nurse helped by sucking out some of the junk in his mouth one time (around 2 a.m.) when Kal was having a hard time getting it out. He woke up again a little before 4 doing the same thing, and had to throw up a few times to feel better. His mucous has started to be streaked with blood now, which is normal, because of all the sores in his mouth and throat that are just so raw.

Sleepy little boy...

During the morning, he was actually a little bit more awake, but still a little glassy-eyed. I think the benefits of the lower dose, yet more constant dose of morphine with the PCA pump really set in by then and was helping keep most of the pain at bay, unless he would have a coughing/puking spree. A weird side note: I don't know what it is about him, maybe because of his medicines, but this little guy's breath and mucous smells like fish. Not like the smell of fish from the supermarket or after it's cooked, but more like caught straight from the lake and sitting on the dock before it's cleaned. It smells super gross- like, makes my stomach turn sometimes and gives me shivers down my spine.

It's hard to see him when he is coughing/puking, because the mucous is getting thicker and therefore harder to get out on his own. I can feel his whole body tense up and heave so hard, yet hardly anything would come out most of the time. I mean, as hard as it is to see him like this, though, I know it's all part of the process. I know it's still going to get much worse, and will stay that way for a good little while, until it gets better.

Kal has still been having issues with fluid retention, so they put him on some more doses of diuretics to help flush some of it from his system. He is also still having issues with his face itching as a side affect from the morphine, but I've found that using a cool baby wipe on his face helps with both the discomfort of his swelling and with the itchiness.

Ahh, my eyes and nose are so itchy!

Kal's platelet count was down, so he had to get a platelet transfusion. After that, it seemed to give him a little boost of temporary energy and helped him perk up a little to have a sponge bath and get a little session in with the physical therapist. (They physical therapist helps with pretty much all the longer-term patients, since they are laying in bed for so long and want to make sure their muscles get a little work and don't atrophy.)

Apparently, Kal is trying to start a collection of pumps on his IV stand! We keep getting more and more: maintenance fluid (TPN), lipids, 2 syringe pumps for medicine/flushes, PCA pump, and a temporary pump added for the platelet transfusion.

Our sweet friends came by tonight to visit. They brought some yummy doughnuts and Asian food. Mmm. (; Kal perked up a little when they were holding and talking to him. They just love that kiddo so much. It was so great to see them and chat, as I haven't been able to for quite some time.

Sooo, the day has come. I brushed through Kal's hair with my fingers today, as I do every day, and this time a little hair came out. Yup, Kal's hair is finally starting to fall out. Every day I have been running my fingers through his hair, partially to enjoy it while it's there and partially to check if it was starting to fall out or not. Today when I did my little hair check, a piece of hair came out easily in my fingers. My heart sank a little, I'm not going to lie. In my head, all I could think was, "Ohhh..." I tried it again, for good measure, and another piece came out. Sigh... When I gave him his sponge bath and scrubbed his head, a few more pieces were left on the sponge. Then later, there were some hair collecting on his sheets. When I held him tonight, my shirt started looking like I had held a cat that was shedding. Little hairs everywhere. I did my little hair brushing test with my fingers again, and a little cluster of hair came with it. Yeah. This is really happening. I was holding out hope that since he hadn't lost his hair already, just mayyyyybe he would be one of the rare ones that just wouldn't lose their hair. Well, oh well. It is what it is. It's just a good thing he's only 9 months old. He doesn't really care if he has hair or not right now.

A little bit of hair here...

And a little bit more hair here...

Sigh...

The nurse said pretty soon, it would start to come out in big clumps.

I'm actually surprised how well I am taking this whole situation and journey in the hospital with Kal. I don't want to sound haughty, but I feel like I'm still keeping (most) of my sanity so far and just taking things as they come. I mean, I can't do much of anything about how Kal is feeling or what he is going through. We're here. It's happening, and there's no progress to be made if I'm sitting here distraught over it. We just survive, one day at a time, and count each day as a blessing to be alive and be "normal" and "right on schedule." I really am surprised at myself that I am still going strong. There is no doubt in my mind and soul that Heavenly Father has given me the strength I am having right now. I honestly know I couldn't be able to handle this all by myself. In addition, I know He has placed wonderful family and friends in our lives that strengthen me and my family. They have made this trial so much lighter to bear. This is such a hard situation to see our child like this, don't get me wrong, but I feel at peace that everything will work out in the end, and that it will be so worth it. God has brought me that peace, and I am ever grateful He continues to bless me with that peace every day on this journey.