Day -6, -5, and -4: Keep On, Keepin' On, With Blessings!

Phew! Sorry to not have an update in a few days. Honestly, I didn't feel up to posting much about updates, since I was home and couldn't see much of the action myself. Plus, I just missed my baby boy so, so much. Trying to think, and especially write, about him just made my heart ache.

Day -6

According to my husband, Jonald, Kal did well for the most part. He was taking his same medicines well, and doing awesome in his eating solid foods, especially. Lately, Kal has been enjoying peaches and bananas for the most part, but he also doesn't mind sweet potato and pears. Jonald still had no luck with the bottle.

At home, it was such a weird feeling to not have Kal there. As I got up from bed that morning, my first thought was, "Okay, I have to get up Kayelee and then Kal... oh yeah, Kal isn't here. He's at the hospital." My heart sank a little.

I tried to keep busy and enjoy my time with Kayelee the best that I could. I knew I would only have a couple of days with her, so I wanted to make it count. Our air conditioning went out that day, so we went to the pool to cool off. At the pool, I saw a little baby boy who resembled Kal in appearance and age. I couldn't stop taking glances at him. That little baby boy was so happy, enjoying the pool. It reminded me of how happy Kal usually is, and my heart sank a little more. I almost started crying, but for fear of looking like a lunatic, I held myself together. It's a good thing I was wearing sunglasses though, to hide my watery eyes from everyone, especially Kayelee. After her naptime, we (me, my daughter, and my mom) went and watched "Heaven Is For Real" at the dollar theater, to enjoy their AC, and then we watched the fireworks with some of our best friends. (P.S. If you haven't read that book and/or seen that movie, you should... but keep a tissue close if you're watching the movie. It brought my thoughts back to Kal at the hospital, and what a sweet soul he is. My heart sank a little more, but I brushed it off and enjoyed Kayelee sitting in my lap in the movie theater.) Going to the fireworks was really fun and good to see our friends. It took my mind off of Kal for a little while, as I just tried to be in the moment and enjoy the moment as it was. Blessings: great family and friends to spend the night with!

Best buddies for life!

On the other hand, Jonald said Kal had a hard time settling down to sleep that night. Poor baby and daddy! While the rest of us were having a blast watching the fireworks, my hubby was rocking Kal for 3 hours until he finally settled down.

Day -5

First day of chemo. I cannot tell you how much it pained me to not be there for that. I know it usually takes a few days or so for the chemo affects to really settle in, but I just felt like I needed to be there for my baby on such a day.

Kal still did awesome with all of his meds and oral care. He still hates the bottle, but will take formula if it is put into a syringe and given as a medicine. Haha, stubborn little kiddo.

 Can this video of him eating be any cuter?!

The doctors have been really happy at how well he is doing. I think they kind of chilled out/gave up on the idea that he would take the bottle anytime soon, because they said I could come back to the hospital! Whoop whoop! Blessings!

I called the social worker and was lucky enough to get a room reserved in one of the Ronald McDonald overnight, sleeping rooms (since only one parent can stay the night in the room with the patient). Blessings! My mom was helping my sister for the day, so me and Kayelee hung out until she got back home with the car. Since the AC was still out, we walked over to the pool and had a good time.

Also, on a side note, since I was home, I was able to find the probable cause for our basement leaking in water. There was a maintenance guy working outside that I was able to ask, and we found out our underground drip line had a huge split in it, causing a geyser of water to hit our house and fall down into our basement window well. He was very kind and able to fix the drip line right away. Blessings!

That evening, my mom, Kayelee, and I decided to go together to see Kal and Daddy. When I went in the room, I just wanted to hold Kal forever and never let go. Before I got to pick him up, he was laying in his crib and looked up when I walked up and called his name. The smile on his face was the sweetest thing! Sweet blessings. But, more than being happy I was there, Kal seemed to be more enthralled that his Ate (big sister) Kayelee was there. He wouldn't stop watching her and beaming this huge grin. There is really something about Kal that he just loves Kayelee so much. When I held Kal in the rocking chair and Kayelee sat next to us in the chair, Kal was watching his sister's every move. It was Ahhh-dorable! Oh, it just melted me! Super cute blessings for adorable kids, and for the time we were all able to spend together.

When it was time for my mom to go home with Kayelee, I didn't imagine it being so hard to say goodbye to her. When Kal was admitted, I just said goodbye to her before she went to bed the night before, and when she woke up the next morning, I wasn't there. This time around, she was awake and realized that I wasn't going home with her. I gave her a long hug and explained to her that it was my turn to watch Kal. She was hesitant to get on the elevator with my mom, but eventually did. She did not throw a fit or cry, but I could see the sadness in her eyes as she left. I could feel my heart being torn and a piece taken home with her. It is a terrible feeling, being so elated to be back with Kal, yet so sad to see my little girl have to go home without me. I'm getting choked up as I'm typing this, just thinking about it.

Day -4

Yay! I get to be with Kal the whole day today! Honestly, as weird as it sounds, waking back up in the hospital this morning felt amazing. I was so happy to be back, I could hardly sleep last night. I think I actually get a better night's sleep being in Kal's room, despite the nurses coming in and out every 4 hours or more, rather than in the Ronald McDonald sleeping room or at home. It's so funny: since Kal has been admitted, I have been waking up more during the night when I'm away from Kal than when I am in the same room with him in the bustling ICS unit.

Ohhh, I have SO missed these snuggles!

It looks like he's gained weight over the past couple of good eating days that I've been gone. His cheeks look fuller, and his neck is a little chubbier, too. As the nurse told me today, "We support double chins here."

So, apparently he is on 2 kinds of chemo. They both run every 6 hours, around the clock, I believe. I haven't noticed any signs of the affects of the chemo yet, thank goodness. Blessings, for real. He continues to eat his solids wonderfully, and will still get in a little formula through the syringe as well.  Kal continues to be such a happy baby. Even the nurse tech mentioned today: "He just seems so 'with it.' He feels like he is an 'old soul.'" I couldn't agree more.

What. A. Charmer.

During Kal's nap, I was able to have a moment to sit out on the 3rd floor patio today. The warm sunlight was medicine for my soul and energizing. Blessings! I felt like my inner batteries were charging out there. A little Vitamin D from sunlight goes a long way for me. With 3+ weeks (or more) to go here, I think I'll be visiting that patio often to keep my sanity.

On a side note, the guy came to fix our AC at home today. Woohoo! He was scheduled to not come and check our AC until Monday, but then had an open spot this afternoon. Thank goodness! Cool, refreshing blessings!

Well, time for Kal to eat again. This blog has encouraged me to see the light and blessings in every day. I encourage you to do so as well. (: