Day +17: Hanging In There

So, I have to admit: as much as I think he's a wonderful doctor, I got pretty ticked at Kal's doctor today. Allow me to give you a little background information:

Last night was... uugh. I mean, it could have been totally worse, but it was definitely nothing close to ideal. Kal actually fell asleep early for what is normal for him, around 8:30. I figured I would take advantage of the opportunity and rent a movie to watch after finishing my blog update for the day.

Around midnight, Kal woke up puking. It was like about 4 successive puking moments, where he would recover from it, then start puking again and then start the process over. This made a a big mess everywhere, causing the nurse and I to change his blanket, clothes, bed pad, spit up rags, and his diaper. By then, Kal was very awake, despite me rocking him for about 2 hours. So, therefore, around 2 a.m., I could barely keep my eyes open, and I gave up and put him in his bed, hoping he would fall asleep on his own. He did, thank goodness!

Then, about 6:30 a.m., the same process happened, except I had no energy to possibly rock him for 2 hours or more again, so after rocking him a short while, I gave up. I just put him back in bed, hoping he would kick out enough to tire himself out, and went back to bed. I was blessed again that he did end up eventually going to sleep after that!

By the time 8:30 a.m. rolled around, I was toast. When the doctors came in for their daily rounds, they wanted to continue to make changes to prepare Kal for going home soon. They informed me they were going to change more IV medications to give him through his feeding tube. Then, they said they wanted to lower Kal's pain pump dose yet again- despite him throwing up more yesterday and today. The doctor must have noticed my grimace when he mentioned this plan, because he remarked something like, "You don't seem too excited about that." I replied, "Well, no. I just think his throat hurts so much right now," to which he remarked proudly and assuredly, "Oh, no, his throat is all healed by now."

Morning snuggles after a few puking sessions.

Mmmm-kay. Because Kal has been throwing up blood and you ordered the nurse to put in the feeding tube for the reason that it was too painful for him to swallow those medicines.. of course his throat is already healed! (Note the sarcasm here). Nah, bloody throw up totally shows he's all healed up in his throat... not. Whatever, dude. I wanted to tell him to not lower Kal's morphine again today, as they wanted to cut his prescription in half for today and end it completely, cold turkey tomorrow. I feel like his throat still needs a break. Growing up, I was raised to not talk back or question authority figures, but to respect them- especially doctors- perhaps because I have been taught how long their school process is and I thought they deserved some respect for their hark work and learned knowledge over the years. At least the nurse commented she was on my side and of the same opinion as me, but she only mentioned this after the doctor was long gone.

On the other hand, I am Kal's mama. I know him better than any doctor could. I hope to sort out this situation before it's too late and Kal is reeling in a roller coaster of pain again. I guess I need to just put my big girl pants on and confront them and be a little more adamant to them about things. Wish me luck and send prayers for tomorrow! Rant overrrr. (;

Infatuated with his own "selfie" view on my phone.

On a more positive note, we were able to have lots of fun visitors today, though! One by one of my best friends from college and her boyfriend, and the other by a family that has been longtime friends of both our family as well as my husband's family. It was so great to catch up and visit! All of the visitors really brightened the mood from the earlier morning. We are so blessed to have such loving friends and family to support and love us, especially during this time. By them taking a good chunk of time out of their day to visit, it had made a huge difference and gave me strength to face the challenges of the day today- especially with Kal puking about 8 times. May God bless them for their time in serving me and my family by dropping by to visit. It really meant so much to my soul to see and speak with them today.